About Straight Homophobic Friends
(is LGBT+ queer representation infringing on straight privilege?)
BACKGROUND IDEAS PASTED FROM POD SHOW NOTES (NEW BLOG IDEAS ARE WRITTEN AFTERWARDS)
(there will be typos as I write in a stream of consciousness form and I avoid editing because it leads me to censor my ideas and second guess myself). Venting About Straight Homophobic Friends (is LGBT+ queer representation infringing on straight privilege?)
I’ve referenced this Queer Collective podcast episode #128 from YouTube (before watching it) https://youtu.be/Ea5aKc9c_VY?si=E07g6cKKWbEgrDNF so I’m hoping it’s relevant based on only seeing their intro thus far. But I want to talk about some of the conversations I’ve been in with straight friends. 99% of my straight friends are allies and are amazing, maybe they don’t know everything BUT WHO DOES! I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the people who consider themselves friends but don’t think that LGBT people should have rights equal to their own straight rights. That queer people should not be able to do or say or act similarly to how straight people act (ex. PDAs, song lyrics, casts of shows and movies, reading materials, multi media, dress-codes, and more). These straights don’t necessarily state that they are prejudice, or homophobic, and are not willing to see different perspectives. They tend to land on trying to quote texts of religions, religions that they themselves do not even follow, from books that they don’t follow any other teachings. And even don’t follow the teachings within the same page of texts that they quote. I call this hypocritical. But overall the bigger issue is the flaw of the human mind. We ALL experience discomfort with challenging our own views. Which is why I invalidate these straight opinions. I can see that they speak from their own experiences. But also if they are the majority with more privilege, the weight of their rules and preferences gain more distance than that of a gay minority. These are the bigger psychological and political issues.
NEW BLOG IDEAS
Let's start at the end and break these ideas down:
"But overall the bigger issue is the flaw of the human mind. We ALL experience discomfort with challenging our own views."
I used to sit around with friends having drinks, and some of those friends were interested in discussing fun topics about conspiracy theories, the mysteries of the universe, and all types of esoteric topics. But after time those few of us realized that when we would ask most other friends about what they thought about some theories on alien abduction or the Egyptian pyramids, they would often respond "I don't know." Or if I would offer to some friends to introspective self help books that I found helpful they would state "it stresses me out."
While some of us leaned in to the stress of cognitive dissonance, others never wanted to even try and challenge themselves or to entertain other theories.
This gets hard for me to understand. Why people won't lean into the discomfort. Why some won't challenge what they were initially taught.
"Which is why I invalidate these straight opinions." I can see that they speak from their own experiences. But also if they are the majority with more privilege, the weight of their rules and preferences gain more distance than that of a gay minority. These are the bigger psychological and political issues."
When I talk to straights. I hear their experiences. And while they may be valid for them, they are a majority with more say and power in legal systems.
They tend to be uncomfortable (some of them) for their own reasons. Not always religious or cultural prejudices, but possibly some other issues related to shame or values they were taught.
But does this give them the right to dictate what queer people are allowed to have access to as far as equality in education, public behaviors, or access to health care?
I understand that they may not believe or value queer culture, but they don't need to advocate for inequality. That is where I feel the issues are. They can believe and think how they please, but promoting inequality is wrong.
Examples:
They believe their children in schools can read books about family units, gender roles, and gender expression BUT they believe children of queer parents should have to hide educational information about queer family units, queer gender roles and queer gender expression.
They believe they should have access to healthcare services "my body....." BUT they don't believe queer people should have access to healthcare. If I want a breast reduction for back pain NO ISSUE! But if I want it due to gender dysphoria I need to enroll in therapy, get a recommendation, get approval... there is gatekeeping of treatment which is not equal even if someone wants the same services.
If I want testosterone for body building a female, it is easier to get access to than if I want testosterone due to trans identify as a AFAB person. This is also not equal.
Many jobs can fire employees based on dress codes.
There are not equal harassment laws for queer people in many states.
There are many states where PDAs by queer couples are considered an legal offense.
Remember when they were banning drag shows? They tried to state that no drag performance can be allowed within a certain distance from any specific types of buildings such as schools, churches, and certain other types of companies. BUT there is not a similar rule for strip clubs.
On television almost every show and movie has sex scenes. Currently I am watch 1 episode a week of the Prime show "We Were Liars." In the episode we viewed last week, one female was standing against the wall while getting oral sex from a guy. These actors in the show are portrayed to be students about to begin in college. So their characters are possibly 18 or 17 years of age. BUT we are not allowed to have queer shows that have such scenes.
These types of straights do not realize that they are choosing their comfort over the rights and health of their of queer friends and family. All they can see is that they themselves are more exposed to queer culture that they have never had to see, think about or recognize.
Meanwhile, queer people are struggling with more losses of jobs, having healthcare services messed up, more mental health issues, less supportive resources...
We all experienced the economic pain of the pandemic. It forced people to move to places and stay indoors with people who they never wanted to see. But now, queer people are still impacted, with less work opportunities, and less support, leading to increased physical and mental health issues. This impacts all of society. Any time one part of society is oppressed, it comes out in ways where the entire society is impacted. Problems do not go away. They just resurface and impact in other ways. For people who claim they want a better society, they need to stop contributing to the oppression of minority groups. Regardless of what their churches and scriptures and parents tell them OPPRESSION IS WRONG AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE WRONG, IT INFECTS A SOCIETY LIKE A VIRUS.
