About Straight Homophobic Friends (is LGBT+ queer representation infringing on straight privilege?)

About Straight Homophobic Friends 

(is LGBT+ queer representation infringing on straight privilege?)

Check out the podcast episode: EPISODE LINK HERE 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/08RmTHXWdrTJi9Qwi8MQYG?si=lBgGDAfSR-2A7ky862nHNw

BACKGROUND IDEAS PASTED FROM POD SHOW NOTES (NEW BLOG IDEAS ARE WRITTEN AFTERWARDS) 

(there will be typos as I write in a stream of consciousness form and I avoid editing because it leads me to censor my ideas and second guess myself). Venting About Straight Homophobic Friends (is LGBT+ queer representation infringing on straight privilege?)

I’ve referenced this Queer Collective podcast episode #128 from YouTube (before watching it) ⁠https://youtu.be/Ea5aKc9c_VY?si=E07g6cKKWbEgrDNF⁠ so I’m hoping it’s relevant based on only seeing their intro thus far. But I want to talk about some of the conversations I’ve been in with straight friends. 99% of my straight friends are allies and are amazing, maybe they don’t know everything BUT WHO DOES! I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the people who consider themselves friends but don’t think that LGBT people should have rights equal to their own straight rights. That queer people should not be able to do or say or act similarly to how straight people act (ex. PDAs, song lyrics, casts of shows and movies, reading materials, multi media, dress-codes, and more). These straights don’t necessarily state that they are prejudice, or homophobic, and are not willing to see different perspectives. They tend to land on trying to quote texts of religions, religions that they themselves do not even follow, from books that they don’t follow any other teachings. And even don’t follow the teachings within the same page of texts that they quote. I call this hypocritical. But overall the bigger issue is the flaw of the human mind. We ALL experience discomfort with challenging our own views. Which is why I invalidate these straight opinions. I can see that they speak from their own experiences. But also if they are the majority with more privilege, the weight of their rules and preferences gain more distance than that of a gay minority. These are the bigger psychological and political issues. 

NEW BLOG IDEAS

Let's start at the end and break these ideas down: 

"But overall the bigger issue is the flaw of the human mind. We ALL experience discomfort with challenging our own views." 

I used to sit around with friends having drinks, and some of those friends were interested in discussing fun topics about conspiracy theories, the mysteries of the universe, and all types of esoteric topics. But after time those few of us realized that when we would ask most other friends about what they thought about some theories on alien abduction or the Egyptian pyramids, they would often respond "I don't know." Or if I would offer to some friends to introspective self help books that I found helpful they would state "it stresses me out."

While some of us leaned in to the stress of cognitive dissonance, others never wanted to even try and challenge themselves or to entertain other theories. 

This gets hard for me to understand. Why people won't lean into the discomfort. Why some won't challenge what they were initially taught.

"Which is why I invalidate these straight opinions." I can see that they speak from their own experiences. But also if they are the majority with more privilege, the weight of their rules and preferences gain more distance than that of a gay minority. These are the bigger psychological and political issues."

When I talk to straights. I hear their experiences. And while they may be valid for them, they are a majority with more say and power in legal systems. 

They tend to be uncomfortable (some of them) for their own reasons. Not always religious or cultural prejudices, but possibly some other issues related to shame or values they were taught. 

But does this give them the right to dictate what queer people are allowed to have access to as far as equality in education, public behaviors, or access to health care?

I understand that they may not believe or value queer culture, but they don't need to advocate for inequality. That is where I feel the issues are. They can believe and think how they please, but promoting inequality is wrong.

Examples:

They believe their children in schools can read books about family units, gender roles, and gender expression BUT they believe children of queer parents should have to hide educational information about queer family units, queer gender roles and queer gender expression.

They believe they should have access to healthcare services "my body....." BUT they don't believe queer people should have access to healthcare. If I want a breast reduction for back pain NO ISSUE! But if I want it due to gender dysphoria I need to enroll in therapy, get a recommendation, get approval... there is gatekeeping of treatment which is not equal even if someone wants the same services.

If I want testosterone for body building a female, it is easier to get access to than if I want testosterone due to trans identify as a AFAB person. This is also not equal.

Many jobs can fire employees based on dress codes. 

There are not equal harassment laws for queer people in many states.

There are many states where PDAs by queer couples are considered an legal offense.

Remember when they were banning drag shows? They tried to state that no drag performance can be allowed within a certain distance from any specific types of buildings such as schools, churches, and certain other types of companies. BUT there is not a similar rule for strip clubs. 

On television almost every show and movie has sex scenes. Currently I am watch 1 episode a week of the Prime show "We Were Liars." In the episode we viewed last week, one female was standing against the wall while getting oral sex from a guy. These actors in the show are portrayed to be students about to begin in college. So their characters are possibly 18 or 17 years of age. BUT we are not allowed to have queer shows that have such scenes.

These types of straights do not realize that they are choosing their comfort over the rights and health of their of queer friends and family. All they can see is that they themselves are more exposed to queer culture that they have never had to see, think about or recognize. 

Meanwhile, queer people are struggling with more losses of jobs, having healthcare services messed up, more mental health issues, less supportive resources...

We all experienced the economic pain of the pandemic. It forced people to move to places and stay indoors with people who they never wanted to see. But now, queer people are still impacted, with less work opportunities, and less support, leading to increased physical and mental health issues. This impacts all of society. Any time one part of society is oppressed, it comes out in ways where the entire society is impacted. Problems do not go away. They just resurface and impact in other ways. For people who claim they want a better society, they need to stop contributing to the oppression of minority groups. Regardless of what their churches and scriptures and parents tell them OPPRESSION IS WRONG AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE WRONG, IT INFECTS A SOCIETY LIKE A VIRUS. 

 Approaching Political Differences (managing and repairing relationships as a queer person)

Here are 4 things I have learned so far:

So far I have come to the conclusion that it can be complex enough on the inside f my own brain to try and just basically maintain, focus, and reach goals and continue toward where I would like to be. Therefore, drowning out the noise has served me well!

1.        American News Media Preys on Emotions

Video: 

 POD: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Qza6DSH02fOdYJmj8wRKG?si=SfPhGYYaTLWNUvL9tAaESw

Many years ago there was an earthquake followed by a tsunami off the coast of Japan. I was shocked by watching Japanese newscasts at the homes of local friends who were from Japan. The calm voices, the relaxed pace of speech, yes, there was tragedy and fear, but the Japanese media was not covering the stories as American media was.

Flipping over to American news I noticed all the hype! Same stories, same ideas, yet a different approach. It was no longer calm. The terminology was even strategically chosen to affect cortisol levels and create emotional fears.

I had to ask myself: Do I want my emotions preyed upon? Often it is easy to become sucked into an environment online where it is negatively impacting yet also the excitement can be addictive and enticing in comparison to boredom or sitting with one’s own thoughts.

2.        Government Prefers Us to be Ill

How can you even tell if you are impacted negatively? Well, are you feeling it in your body? In your mind? Do you experience fatigue or stress or worry afterwards?

3.        News Sites Are Inaccurate

I decided to test my theory. I slowed down. I looked on with amazement on the headlines. I searched and attempted further research on headlines. To my surprise, most stories I could not find direct newspaper or articles. I COME FROM A BACKGROUND OF RESEARCH. I have written research papers, I write and write and write often, and for fun! So when I have difficulty finding information, I become incredibly skeptical.

4.        Even While Avoiding/ Ignoring Headlines, I will still be informed by others

It does not matter how much you try to avoid current events, someone will always keep you informed. You will see it anywhere.

Mental Health Frequency: Categories of Balance

Mental health frequency often requires a view into categories of balance.

(Check out Aina Brei'Yon's Link and YouTube channel HERE)

And how to analyze balance? On an average day the natural energy of a person may ebb and flow. The key is maintenance of energy so that the dips can be quickly recovered and the highs are productive including recovery activities.

Can you think of the last time you felt stress, distressed, uncomfortable or some type of specific mood or physical strain? (Think of irritability, anger, sadness, worry, physical pain that can be sharp, tension, pulsing/pounding in the body).

Here we are looking in areas such as cycles/ patterns, fear/ anxiety, and how changed frequencies impact who we come close to, who we pull away from and how we are thus socially impacted. 

In this article, we will explore the concept of emotional energy frequencies, their impact on our lives, and ways to harness positive emotional energy.

Mental Health Frequency is Impacted by Familiarity in Cycles

Patterns in life, choices often repeated, they relate to a current frequency. They can also initiate a frequency. A lot of times we may choose repetitive methods of doing things.

When the outcome or process is pleasant we will rarely complain. But when we start to realize a poor result, it can be possible to recognize the pattern and change, but sometimes that can prove difficult.

Do you know and recognize unhelpful or helpful patterns in your routines? An unhelpful pattern is a behavior, thought or condition that results in more distress.

Helpful patterns generally result in improved mood and daily functioning.

Mental health patterns are essential for individuals to maintain their well-being. By recognizing patterns in one's mental health, individuals can take proactive measures to address any negative changes in their mood, thoughts, or behaviors. 

Mental health energy frequency and such relevant categories rely on understanding mental health patterns, which can also help individuals identify triggers that may worsen their mental health and implement coping mechanisms to mitigate these triggers. 

Mental health patterns vary among individuals, and it is essential to seek professional help if one experiences persistent negative patterns or changes in their mental health. By prioritizing mental health and recognizing patterns, individuals can lead a fulfilling and healthy life.

Operating from Frequency of Fear and Impacts on Mental Health

Fear is another example of the ego changing mental health frequency. We naturally have defense mechanisms for both our physical bodies and our emotional health.

We can see how hesitation can protect us if forward motion would be dangerous. If while driving the road becomes bumpy with large potholes and rocks, we know to slow down and take a closer look.

Sometimes that fear is going to save us from harm. But other times the fear is based on a perception. If I avoid applying for a job due to fear of rejection, I may never get a job other than by luck.

Fear can have a significant psychological impact on individuals. When faced with a fearful situation, the body responds by releasing stress hormones, which can cause physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, and shallow breathing. 

Mental health energy frequency and categories related to fear can be either formally diagnosed conditions or informally diagnosed sets of symptoms. Over time, chronic fear can lead to negative psychological effects like anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). 

Fear can also affect an individual's ability to make rational decisions and engage in social interactions. 

Therefore, it's important to address fear and its impact on mental health. Seeking therapy, practicing relaxation techniques, and engaging in activities that promote self-care can help individuals manage their fears and improve their mental health.

Attracting through Similar Frequency (Shifting Mental Health)

Mental health energy frequency includes the category of “attraction.” With the concept of attraction, people of similar frequencies may attract similar energies.

Some people may notice a shift in their mood or mental health when they are interacting based on an attraction.

Not all attractions are going to result in positives. In some attractions, one person gives more and the other takes more. These frequencies may be opposites.

Frequency and Connection (Social and Mental Health)

Usually people who remain in touch are in a connection.

Social connections can impact mental health and frequency.

It is common to interact within different groups of friends and social circles at different life stages and dependent upon goals. moving, types or work or areas of residence.

Social connections are essential for maintaining good mental health. Mental health energy frequency and the category of social connections involves research revealing that individuals who have strong social support systems are more resilient to stress and have a lower risk of developing mental health issues like depression and anxiety. 

Social connections also provide individuals with a sense of belonging, which can boost self-esteem and confidence. 

Engaging in social activities and building positive relationships with others can improve an individual's overall well-being. 

However, it's important to note that social connections should be genuine and meaningful, rather than just surface-level interactions. Building and maintaining strong social connections takes time and effort, but the benefits are invaluable for mental health.

Summary

Emotions are an integral part of our lives and affect our behavior, thoughts, and overall well-being. Emotional energy frequencies are the vibrational frequencies that correspond to different emotions. 

These frequencies are believed to influence our thoughts and behavior, which, in turn, can affect our physical and mental health. 

Understanding Emotional Energy Frequencies

Emotional energy frequencies are based on the idea that everything in the universe vibrates at different frequencies. Each emotion has its unique vibrational frequency that can be measured through scientific methods. 

Mental health energy frequency and such relevant categories include examples of emotions like joy, love, and gratitude vibrate at higher frequencies, while emotions like anger, fear, and sadness vibrate at lower frequencies.

According to the Law of Attraction, like attracts like, which means that the emotions we feel and the thoughts we have attract similar energies into our lives. Therefore, if we vibrate at higher frequencies, we attract positive experiences, whereas if we vibrate at lower frequencies, we attract negative experiences.

The Impact of Emotional Energy Frequencies on Our Lives

Our emotional energy frequencies have a significant impact on our lives. Emotions like love, joy, and gratitude are associated with positive outcomes like improved physical health, better relationships, and increased happiness. In contrast, emotions like anger, fear, and sadness can lead to negative outcomes like stress, anxiety, and depression.

Studies have shown that negative emotions can also weaken our immune system and increase our risk of developing chronic diseases like heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. On the other hand, positive emotions like gratitude have been found to boost the immune system and improve overall health.

Harnessing Positive Emotional Energy Frequencies

Fortunately, we can harness positive emotional energy frequencies by cultivating positive emotions and thoughts. Here are some ways to do so:

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most potent emotional energy frequencies. When we focus on what we are grateful for, we raise our vibrational frequency and attract more positive experiences into our lives. To cultivate gratitude, take some time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for, whether it be your health, relationships, or career. You can also write a gratitude journal, where you jot down things you are grateful for every day.

Engage in Activities That Bring You Joy

Engaging in activities that bring us joy and pleasure is another way to raise our vibrational frequency. Whether it be listening to music, practicing a hobby, or spending time with loved ones, these activities can help us feel more positive emotions and attract more positive experiences into our lives.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the moment. By focusing on the present moment, we can reduce stress and anxiety, and increase feelings of joy and contentment. To practice mindfulness, take some time each day to sit in silence, focus on your breath, and observe your thoughts without judgment.

Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the practice of treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, just as we would treat a good friend. By practicing self-compassion, we can reduce negative self-talk and increase feelings of self-worth and positivity. To practice self-compassion, try to speak to yourself as you would speak to a good friend, and focus on your strengths and positive qualities.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

The people we surround ourselves with can have a significant impact on our emotional energy frequencies. Surrounding ourselves with positive, supportive people can help us feel more positive emotions and attract more positive experiences into our lives. On the other hand, spending time with negative, toxic people can lower our vibrational frequency and lead to negative experiences.

NOTE: Through the last few days (Days 18-21; April 1-4) I have remained ill and thus unable to record podcast episodes.

I am hoping this is at least interesting. I did not want to go backwards or record a long episode.

Socials

Aina Brei'Yon's Website

You can find her youtube, merch, music and courses.

Tomboy Official Podcast

SPOTIFY

APPLE PODCASTS

ANCHOR

Any interest in working in an LGBTQ+ tech job? (Or even obtaining tech work and adding potential representation of the LGBTQ+ community as an employee at a tech job? Consider affordable training HERE! (Note: This is an affiliate link https://account.coursecareers.com/ref/29926/ and I receive a compensation for any registrations made through my link). 

Interested in breaking into the tech field through CourseCareers training? Here is a code for $50 off!

DISCOUNT CODE: IGZDVLGJSK

A Gay Night In

 How gay can I make this blog post??

I saw some inspiration in Jess (@jkiillem) today. As well as Alexa (@alexa.the.legend). Jess experiencing flashbacks today while prepping for the final bag before the holiday break. Alexa recalling her experiences working as a photographer this year. Jess has been a masc presenting gogo dancer for some time now. And Alexa has jumped into the field, also working as a model and a pro football player and content creator. Affording to live in LA is not cheap.

Thinking about the Flipped party at Richs I will be missing tonight! I get complete foamo with the queer party scene I am missing out on. At least I will get a nice NYE party. 

[One section of some slight negativity compiled to one area with some solutions added in ] How does music help and heat? Well, I found myself writing about physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain. I could not stop complaining today. I skipped a workout 2 days ago. I had done a lot of cleaning yesterday when the physical pain was beginning. I have been avoiding the saunas and jacuzzis in the gym to try and avoid getting illnesses since virus symptoms are spreading. I take hot showers for back and shoulder pain. But overall I needed good vibes and music. I knew I felt like crap so I was remaining quite isolated from spending holiday time with my siblings as they watched Harry Potter. I enjoy the experience of music under the influence of some thc, some I concocted a thc and hemp seed oil mix, snacked after some blogging, and had to keep copy/pasting and removing the negative things I had to say. So I decided to compile that entire experience here and then move on!

Listening to some Dani Max tunes and getting in that energy. “On Tequila” is such a great song, fire beats!

After reviewing some Just bought tix to CRSSD Spring. I figure if I cannot party now I might as well pre-plan some party time. Music live is certainly a spiritual experience to look forward to. At least CRSSD events don’t price gouge. No $80 service fees!

I put in my headphones and danced around with some candles and my funky colored low lights. I had a party instead of sitting around thinking about whatever it even was that had been getting to me. I have learned from following so many powwow dancer social media sites that dancing and singing is definitely healing. So I try to remember to do it when I feel bad. It takes my mind off of things by providing a better perspective.

Singlehood and Gender

Singlehood and Culture

Singlehood is a stage that many cultures address in their own specific manners. In Western American culture people generally begin a process of dating near age 14-18. Usually there is a process where a teen is developing independence and being allowed added freedoms by guardians upon proving that they can adhere to expectations and handle the allowed freedoms. Sexuality, gender identity and exposure of cultural environment and media representation often shape the levels of comfort and opportunity of dating.

Singlehood and Gender and LGBTQ+

Those across cultures who identify as queer, lesbian, gay, pan, bi, intersex, trans, etc., our experiences can differ from the mainstream. There is often very limited representation, and for people who are isolated the may not see, hear, interact or learn of anyone like them outside of social media. YouTubers like Breanne Williamson have a queer dating series. In the episodes I have viewed from her series, she was attempting to setup a cute TikTok creator on dates. They discussed what they were looking for, preferences, and deal breakers SEE HERE https://youtu.be/ug1-HQF1m_E.

Singlehood and Gender Identity

Gender identity while single, depending on the options surrounding a person it can be fun, safe, affirming, and comfortable. We are often shown series where there are very rarely any gender identity or expression variations. On occasion we see a masc presenting female, or a "flamboyant" male and they are usually either closeted gays or questioning. Almost always in media they get ridiculed in society by those within their subcultures. And those in teen age ranges are seen in media as getting kicked out or misunderstood by family. I have yet to see an any representation in series for people in older age ranges in their 30s or later life in their 60s nearing retirement. Usually the people in their 20s and 30s are on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and other social media platforms. They create their own series such as the series QUEERIOUS including QPOC actors with one trans character https://youtu.be/8yD4_abneac. The series is by Alexander King, a QPOC writer.

Singlehood and LGBTQ+ Identity

LGBT singles might experience pressure from the non-queer people in their lives by being asked multiple questions about dating and partners. And in the queer world there may be a pressure to date. Depending on the social environments a queer person may have a relaxed and enjoyable dating experience with support around and people with good boundaries.

My Personal Experiences

My personal experiences dating as a person with a range of androgynous-to-masc gender presentation, I have primarily experienced good, healthy, strong, safe, trustworthy relationships in San Diego. I also am able to venture up to LA where I was raised. But being raised around and within a conservative religion, and in a city with a lot of diversity, I was exposed to all different types of people and was able to challenge a lot of what I was taught compared to where my natural desires laid. I was able to create a lifestyle that I preferred. Most of my dating when I am single occurs from dating apps and meeting others such as friends of friends. There is some pressure where some friends often ask me about my dating life and try and set me up with their friends. Poor boundaries have been another experience, sometimes when your sexual and gender identity are not part of the majority culture this opens the door for people to be curious and ask a lot of questions.

(See the podcast link HERE for more on this topic, and share the blog and podcast links below with anyone you think may enjoy these topics).

BLOG: https://tomboyofficial.blogspot.com/

PODCAST: https://anchor.fm/tomboyofficial

San Diego Homesick

Creating and Ideal Lifestyle

Prompted by a deep interpretation of a dream (LISTEN HERE) I have come to the awareness that I am missing San Diego and homesick. My San Diego lifestyle includes a diverse easy-going nice crew of friends who believe in creating and maintaining safe space, avoiding judgements, gossip, and toxicity. Nobody is perfect, myself included. We all do and will make mistakes, but being in circumstances where there is not a deep rooted history of toxic habits, abuse and judgement has created an experience of being able to heal and chill.

Lifestyle of LGBTQ+ Friends and Allies

I am able to primarily live a relatively safe and open queer lifestyle in San Diego. I mention this as I sit in Los Angeles writing this post, strategically choosing a temporarily dim light gray font color for the above heading so the big bold black type blends more subtly into the white page’s background as my family walks around in the living room where I am chilling on the couch typing. No one will kick me out. No one will physically injure me. But I know that I am amongst people who just do not understand. They do not know what to say even if they see at title heading with “LGBTQ+” in it. They may ask questions, but they are not too interested in challenging their traditional beliefs. They know what they already believe about how a Christian should live their life. And absorbing and creating content, let alone living a lifestyle involving LGBTQ+ events, friends, people and social environments is not a part of a world they are trying to actively integrate.

I am scrolling around on my YouTube channel speedily to pass by any queer content in my history or recommendations as I search for a musical playlist in my attempt to remove my headphones and appear as if I am no ignoring everybody.

Healthy and safe living environments

Healthy environments do not expose a person to illness, symptoms, problems, and chaos. Thinking about health, this means a person has a balanced feel of their physical body, emotions and mental clarity. Health can be felt, and experiences in unhealthy environments can also be felt.

Safe living environments do not expose a person to physical, mental and emotional risks. A setting is safe if there is limited dangerous possibilities. Danger does not always require police action or guns, danger and toxic environments can include the disruption to aspects of health that a can feel. We can feel if our brain is foggy, fatigued, headaches, lack of motivation, sadness and anxiety, we notice these. And in a healthy and safe environment the setting itself will not commonly lead to negative experiences.

Missing my friends

I definitely miss my San Diego crew of friends. I notice this by how often I don't make plans with my local LA friends and how often I still make plans and interact in San Diego or even in LA with friends from San Diego. Between the kick backs, beach days, park hangs, gay bars and clubs, parties, festivals and concerts. And sometimes a quiet dinner or poolside afternoon, we thrive. My most local LA friends are majority the people I am not often making plans with. They tend to want to meet to have someone available at their family events. I do not have an interest in being exposed to the unhealthy, unsafe and toxic social environments hosted by a conservative religion.

Personal experiences interacting with childhood friends

Lately I am interacting with childhood friends and my local family in LA. I do not get the sense that I can fully be myself. I try not to take up too much space and feel like I tip toe around on egg shells. I have avoided multiple invites. To me this maintains my health and safety. I do not find myself sitting up at night thinking on who said what in which manner and why. 

My Queer Dreams (Amusement Park Crush) episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/eoN5J8tqMtb

BLOG: https://tomboyofficial.blogspot.com/

PODCAST: https://anchor.fm/tomboyofficial

Lifestyle Balance

The Balance Wheel

Check out the BALANCE WHEEL. 

https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.blackactuaries.org/resource/resmgr/docs/Programs&Events/life_and_balance.pdf

Feel free to share the blog and podcast links with people who may have similar interests.

BLOG: https://tomboyofficial.blogspot.com/

PODCAST: https://anchor.fm/tomboyofficial