Singlehood and Culture
Singlehood is a stage that many cultures address in their own specific manners. In Western American culture people generally begin a process of dating near age 14-18. Usually there is a process where a teen is developing independence and being allowed added freedoms by guardians upon proving that they can adhere to expectations and handle the allowed freedoms. Sexuality, gender identity and exposure of cultural environment and media representation often shape the levels of comfort and opportunity of dating.
Singlehood and Gender and LGBTQ+
Those across cultures who identify as queer, lesbian, gay, pan, bi, intersex, trans, etc., our experiences can differ from the mainstream. There is often very limited representation, and for people who are isolated the may not see, hear, interact or learn of anyone like them outside of social media. YouTubers like Breanne Williamson have a queer dating series. In the episodes I have viewed from her series, she was attempting to setup a cute TikTok creator on dates. They discussed what they were looking for, preferences, and deal breakers SEE HERE https://youtu.be/ug1-HQF1m_E.
Singlehood and Gender Identity
Gender identity while single, depending on the options surrounding a person it can be fun, safe, affirming, and comfortable. We are often shown series where there are very rarely any gender identity or expression variations. On occasion we see a masc presenting female, or a "flamboyant" male and they are usually either closeted gays or questioning. Almost always in media they get ridiculed in society by those within their subcultures. And those in teen age ranges are seen in media as getting kicked out or misunderstood by family. I have yet to see an any representation in series for people in older age ranges in their 30s or later life in their 60s nearing retirement. Usually the people in their 20s and 30s are on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube and other social media platforms. They create their own series such as the series QUEERIOUS including QPOC actors with one trans character https://youtu.be/8yD4_abneac. The series is by Alexander King, a QPOC writer.
Singlehood and LGBTQ+ Identity
LGBT singles might experience pressure from the non-queer people in their lives by being asked multiple questions about dating and partners. And in the queer world there may be a pressure to date. Depending on the social environments a queer person may have a relaxed and enjoyable dating experience with support around and people with good boundaries.
My Personal Experiences
My personal experiences dating as a person with a range of androgynous-to-masc gender presentation, I have primarily experienced good, healthy, strong, safe, trustworthy relationships in San Diego. I also am able to venture up to LA where I was raised. But being raised around and within a conservative religion, and in a city with a lot of diversity, I was exposed to all different types of people and was able to challenge a lot of what I was taught compared to where my natural desires laid. I was able to create a lifestyle that I preferred. Most of my dating when I am single occurs from dating apps and meeting others such as friends of friends. There is some pressure where some friends often ask me about my dating life and try and set me up with their friends. Poor boundaries have been another experience, sometimes when your sexual and gender identity are not part of the majority culture this opens the door for people to be curious and ask a lot of questions.
(See the podcast link HERE for more on this topic, and share the blog and podcast links below with anyone you think may enjoy these topics).
PODCAST: https://anchor.fm/tomboyofficial
