Baby Gays, Coming Out and LGBTQ+ Culture (tips, views, and personal experiences)
New, Brand New
Baby gays, welcome!
Everybody starts somewhere, but first things first, make sure you are safe. Part of the process of coming out is going through a baby gay phase. Baby gays are usually self-identified LGBT people who are part of the community but are relatively new to the culture of things. It can be a time of joy, excitement, fear, and confusion all wrapped into one bundle. But hang in there, you eventually will start to feel more connected to who you are in body, mind and soul. Coming Out
There is some controversy surrounding the term "coming out." Movies often portray this for the LGBT community, but straight cis people are not told that they are "coming out" when somebody finds out that Suzy like Bobby.
Majority and Minority
Coming out is a majority culture process placed on our minority culture to show that our processes with our sexuality or gender identification is not the same as those in the straight world. Think back to youth. When you first realized you had a crush. And think of all the crushes of the kids you knew in youth.
You will notice that the ones who were cis and straight were never really questions (not unless somebody was curious about if the person was in fact cis or straight). Cis straight people do not have to come out.
Their identities are assumed. And when they meet the stereotypical norms and are not questioned they just go with the flow of what society expects at different time frames in life. They can date, crush, engage, wed, and divorce without too many glances.
But we all know what that world looks like. Our world is often far more complex. As we change through the phases in life we change classes, teachers, schools, bosses, jobs, professions and along the way meet new friends and neighbors. The whole while there are often new people in our lives who are unaware of our non cis and non straight identities.
But why is it that we have to be the ones to be put on the spot? Nothing is predictable. Stereotypes are not the full picture, they do not sum up a person and they are not able to predict results. Just because a person looks, acts, dresses, or seems a certain way does not mean that is how they identify. And identities can also be fluid over a lifetime. That is very normal.
Ultimately at times it seems it should not matter who we crush on, who we fantasize about, how masc or femme we feel or present, at the end of the day we are all human beings in this world and we all want the same happiness without the hassle of social stressors.
Questions
What tips would you give to a person who is questioning their sexuality or their gender? How do you identify now and when did you fully notice? When were you completely oblivious? When did you begin to notice your authentic self?
PODCAST
For more about baby gays, coming out and LGBT culture, check out the podcast. There are 2 episodes, one on tips and viewpoints HERE and another about some of my own personal experiences HERE.
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